Minsk to Mist

The internet is full of advice on moving to London. From ‘things I wish I knew before moving to London’ to ‘if you think you want to move to London, think again’. The problem with all those posts is that, when a person has made up their mind, they won’t really change it because of reading a piece of writing from someone online. They will ignore 90% of recommendations they are given, even if those recommendations are actually helpful. They will take a couple of ideas they personally resonate with, apply them their own way (which wasn’t what the author had in mind in the first place) and then navigate life as it happens. They will be the living proof that knowing something and using that knowledge are two completely different things.

How do I know?

Oh, I’m the same. Not a perfect well thought-through person that you might think I am.

Very soon, it’s going to be 7 years since I started living in London. I don’t know if I should be sad or thankful that time is linear and we cannot meet the past or the future versions of us. Not just because I could have warned the past me of some mistakes to avoid, but just to chat with that person I used to be. And see how perceptive – or not – she is!

As we are approaching this ‘7-year-itch’, here is a few things I wish the 29-year-old version of me would believe if I were to meet her.

• You’re not just paying rent or mortgage – you are paying for the shiny idea of living in London

There is an old Russian joke:

• Excuse me, waiter! What is that ‘it is going to fly’ line item of £50 on my cheque?
• Oh, apparently, it is not going to fly. Let me remove it from your bill.

The rent or buy prices in London are not exactly determined by how good or bad the accommodation is. It’s all about how sought-after it is – and in London, even a shitty studio 45 minutes away from the nearest train station probably boasts a huge supply-demand imbalance.

When you pay rent or make a down payment on a house you are buying, just remember that you aren’t paying for the accommodation itself. You are paying London’s marketing fees. And given the population of London is growing steadily (covid times aside), those exorbitant prices will most likely continue to fly.

• You think you’ve paid all your taxes, and then comes council tax

And the fun part is that it hits you exactly on the worst day for your bank account. Even if you manage to change the day when they charge you, the council tax will somehow manage to eat into that hard-earned cash you were hoping to spend on yourself.

You feel like you have more money on your account than you were supposed to have? Just wait for the council tax charge to hit.

• The city never sleeps – until you need to get to the airport at 6 am

Ah, the late-night shows after which you can still make it home thanks to the night tube and the night buses, the karaoke nights that are still manageable thanks to Uber, the summer night walks when the heat finally subsides and you have the city to yourself…

All of these are lovely. Until that time when you booked an 8 am flight, meaning you need to get to the airport at around 6 in the morning… and there’s nothing for you! Except for the Uber (which may or may not pick you up at 5 am to take you to the airport) or one of those cab companies that require pre-booking. And a pre-booking comes with a premium. Your ride to the airport costs more than your airfare. Being a cheapskate is very expensive in London.

• Meaningful relationships are difficult to build

As I was saying in my previous articles on finding friends or dating in London, both are not impossible – but more difficult than, say, my experiences in Minsk.

The sheer number of temptations is beyond imaginable. People come and go. Anonymity lets people get away with a lot of things. When you meet someone in London, you can never say if they will even be in the same city with you 6 months from now – let alone if there’s any chance for them to stay in your life long-term. You can only do your best and enjoy the relationships you manage to build. At least while they last.

• It’s bloody expensive – but there are ways to be thrifty

Considering the cost of living breakdown that I have outlined (and mine is perhaps far from being the worst one), this bit might deserve a separate article. London is full of shiny things that would make you part ways with your money, from takeaway coffees and sandwiches to expensive brand bags and West End play tickets. Resisting these temptations is not easy. It is, however, possible to find ways to get all of these at a fraction of a price. Or at least not as expensive as they are at face value.

• You will start taking the city for granted, sooner or later

A couple of weeks ago, my partner and I decided to take advantage of a sunny bliss coinciding with a Saturday and go and see the newly opened North Bank (yes, we have just managed to get there now). Getting off the train at Tower Gateway, we headed towards Westminster in a nice stroll along the Thames.

As we were passing by the magnificent landmarks of London that millions of tourists visit every year and millions more dream of visiting… well, NOTHING HAPPENED! We barely noticed them! And it’s not like we go to the City every day or even every week! At some point, the beauty and the gravitas of the city just became something so ordinary and regular to us that we could no longer be excited about it. And that’s actually the saddest bit in this post…

• Visiting a different part of London feels almost like going abroad

Different parts of London – East, South, West, North – have different vibes. If you plan an outing in a different bit of the city (the touristy downtown aside), this is something that requires a 2-weeks’ notice and perhaps taking a passport with you. Oh yes, and at some point, you will most likely start looking down at people from the opposite end of London. Yes, I’m looking at you, you snobs from the West!

• You will be late for work or an appointment one day – unless you stick to walking

Whether you are a seasoned driver or a professional survivor of the rush hour Tube, and regardless of how disciplined you are and how much extra time you allow for your journey, one day, you will be late. It’s a massive city with around 9 million people (15.4 mln, if you count the commuter towns), and one person being inattentive whilst driving or a poor soul passing out and falling onto the train tracks is more than enough to paralyse the road you need to use. It will take a while to get a few crashed vehicles off the road or to pick that person up to deliver her to a nearby hospital. And sooner or later, this will be something eating into that extra time you allowed for your journey trying not to be late.

• You don’t really need a car in London – until it’s +35 and you are trying to get to the seaside on a Saturday

While the entire nation was bracing during the recent heatwave that brought us the hottest June day on record, the lucky ones living at the seaside enjoyed a bit of breeze – and got annoyed at a bunch of Londoners trying to ruin their cosy coastal town with their visits. I do hope that the dwellers of those lovely coastal towns found comfort in a thought that trains between London and Brighton on a hot Saturday are completely rammed, leaving barely any oxygen for someone trying to get a light breeze. Those of us who drive aren’t much better off being stuck in traffic and desperately trying to find a parking space when we get there – but at least there’s a couple of layers of metal separating us from other people and their smelly armpits.

1. You won’t get to meet a lot of born-and-bred Brits

And that’s the beauty of London! You can meet people from literally anywhere in the world, from Japan to Bolivia, and sometimes even from countries that don’t actually count as countries (here’s to a date I had years ago who was trying to persuade me that Kurdistan was a recognised country). If, however, you want to explore what born-and-bred Brits are up to, your best bet is to move elsewhere – or at least to travel outside of London as much as you can. With a few exceptions (still a big absolute number, considering the size of the city), Brits prefer to be more pragmatic about the rent or the mortgage they would be paying.

1. Be ready for people not knowing much – or anything at all – about where you are from.

Which stems from the previous point – there are people from so many different places and walks of life that they might not have had any interest in where you are from, or perhaps the time to understand what your country is all about. When I first met my now-partner, I was quite shocked when he said he had visited Belarus before. Most people know little to nothing about my country. The good news is, people are usually curious enough and are willing to learn (and if you are just starting, here’s a brief FAQ on my native country).

1. You Ikea delivery will take 3 weeks at best

So will your broadband.

Same regarding most deliveries of non-edible stuff. Oh, and any Tesco delivery slots around Christmas time must be booked about 6 weeks in advance. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

1. You will have an opportunity to see movie stars in West End productions and some of the most amazing theatrical performances in the world

James McAvoy, Ian McKellen, Amy Adams, Penelope Wilton, Zachary Quinto, Tom Hiddleston, Hayley Atwell – that’s not an exhaustive list of famous actors I had the honour of seeing at theatrical stages of London in my 7 years living here. Add to that some of the most fantastic plays in the world, such as ‘The Lion King’, ‘The War Horse’, ‘Kinky Boots’, ‘Wicked’, ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ and many more – and suddenly your theatrical track record has expanded enormously.

And then my mum is surprised I go to the theatre all the time here, while I would hardly ever do so in Minsk!

1. Mould is real – and it’s a bitch!

Yes, I have heard about the shortage of handymen and construction workers in the country. (I now wonder if I should ditch my MBA and do an apprenticeship instead to become a handywoman; the AI isn’t likely to take THAT away any time soon…) And I respect that the houses were built just enough to sustain cold and rainy British winters. Still, it baffles me how even crappy Soviet buildings manage to keep mould away most times – and in London, the October-April period is filled up with mould-battling activities!

1. You will learn to appreciate time – truly!

A trip to the nearest shopping centre is going to take a few hours – because of the traffic on the road and then the traffic of shoppers at the mall. An outing to another part of the city is 1.5-hour trip one way – so you only go there if you have a very serios reason to. Meeting up with friends takes you about an hour to get to, that is, if they manage to get the time on their very busy schedules for you.

So, when you’re dragged to a meeting that could have been an email, get stuck on a train without a good book, a podcast or at least a charged phone, or when you miss your Elizabeth line train by 30 seconds, you ARE fuming. When people in charge treat your time as a commodity, it’s even more frustrating.

Time is the only thing that no amount of money can buy back for you. And it’s places like London where you finally truly understand what that really means.

What was the hardest truth for you to accept about living in your city? What are the things you are still struggling with? Share it in the comment section!